V-DAY POEM

I love the way your eyes sparkle - like a tall chrome stripper pole.
I love the way you comb your hair - that grows atop your mole.

Your oversized supple chest is the biggest I have found. I love when you remove your bra and they slam onto the ground.
Your ample curvy hips are cousins to the moon. I love we call it ladling when we're really trying to spoon.

Pound for pound you are my heavyweight champion of the world. I knew it when I kissed my bride as the minister winced and hurled.

I celebrate our love - with this shipping container full of candy.
I really hope my barrel - stays full of this cheap brandy.
I'M KIDDING! Read below.



Roses are red, you know what are blue.
Now grab me another beer and when I'm done we'll screw.
I'M KIDDING! Read below.



Bitch, PLEASE! If I didn't love you I wouldn't be here.
I'M KIDDING! Read below.



The only thing that comes in a box on Valentine's Day IS ME!
I'M KIDDING! Read below.



I love you when I'm happy, I love you when I'm sad.
I love you when I'm angry, I love you when I'm mad.

I love you in the morning. I love you in the night.
I love you when we're loving. I love you when we fight.

I love you in the spring. I love you in the fall.
I love you when you do - nothing at all.

I love you, love you, love you, more than words can say.
I love you deeper, stronger, longer, each and every day.

You're all I've ever loved, and all I ever will.
I'll love you till the end - when my heart beats still.

You're my air, my movement, my sound, my sight.
My every waking moment - you fill my dreams at night.

You're more than I could wish for. And offer more than I could need.
Your sadness and discomfort, will always make me bleed...

Your satisfaction is my mission, for which I'll always strive.
Your breath and simple beauty - is what keeps this dream alive.

A perfect woman, wife, and mother, the best there ever was.
I wrote this poem to thank you. I wrote it just because.