I think that's him in the back by the creepy old bald guy.
The Hoff! Often mistaken for that creep 6 pack abs guy. UGOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLIE
BEER CAN CASKET
SOUTH CHICAGO HEIGHTS, Ill. (May 5) - Bill Bramanti will love Pabst Blue Ribbon eternally, and he's got the custom-made beer-can casket to prove it. "I actually fit, because I got in here," said Bramanti of South Chicago Heights. The 67-year-old Glenwood village administrator doesn't plan on needing it anytime soon, though.
He threw a party Saturday for friends and filled his silver coffin - designed in Pabst's colors of red, white and blue - with ice and his favorite brew.
"Why put such a great novelty piece up on a shelf in storage when you could use it only the way Bill Bramanti would use it?" said Bramanti's daughter, Cathy Bramanti, 42.
Bramanti ordered the casket from Panozzo Bros. Funeral Home in Chicago Heights, and Scott Sign Co. of Chicago Heights designed the beer can.
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS ON JIMMY KIMMEL "Trippin' On A Hole In A Paper Heart"
"Vasoline"
MORON BUFFET - THE NEW RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD SORRY, NO COWBELL VIRTUAL DRUMSET - CLICK HERE STIMULATING STIMULUS INFO
WHO GETS A PAYMENT?
$600 to singles making less than $75,000. $1,200 to couples making less than $150,000. $300 rebates per child.
WHEN YOU'LL GET YOUR REBATE
The order in which the IRS sends out payments will be based on Social Security numbers. If your return was processed by April 15, here's what you can expect:
Direct Deposit Payment
If the last two digits of your SSN are: Rebate should be sent by:
00-20
May 2
21-75
May 9
76-99
May 16
Paper Check
If the last two digitis of your SSN are: Rebate should be sent by:
Where do I start - Where it all started? I grew up in the meth and murder capital of the Central Valley, Modesto, Ca on April 26th 1972. A date you should know, get me something good! And yes, I grew up underneath power lines. If you listen to the show you know I dropped out of school in the 7th grade. I worked construction during and after high school. I worked at Gallo Winery for 3 days. I worked at the Olive Garden for 3 months but it felt like 30 years! I attended MJC for 2 years, and it was there that I knew I would make my 1 listener's life as miserable as possible! I started my radio career at a Spanish station - KTRB. Although Spanish women are hot, I had a slight language barrier, it only lasted a few months. I then got an internship at Rock 104/Rock 95 in, I think, 1993.
I drove the station van, blew up those stupid inflatable animals, handed out stickers, and ran through a parking lot with a cow tongue-necklace as dogs chased me for "Running of the Pit Bulls." I've been a human pinata, a woman, a turkey, and a nudist. I've eaten lion meat, my own pubic hair, other people's pubic hair, and anything hot or gross! I was a stuntman long before a DJ. I produced a morning show, did a morning show, a night show and everything in between. I know everything there is to know about radio - except how to do it good. In 96' I made the biggest mistake of my life; I accepted a job in Portland, OR. I had a good time on the air but the people and state SUCKED! Plus it was back before the F@#$ing Communist Commission regulated our every breath. In 2003 my wildest dreams came true, I was fired!
And well, well, well, here we are. Back home, in one of the greatest places to live in the whole world! YES, I honestly believe that. The only place better than Nor Cal would be the sun, I've heard it's tough to find work there?
I like fast cars, wet beer, and large women. Exactly in that order! Stan Atkinson was a pimp, Margaret Pelley was hot, and Christy Canyon is STILL the most beautiful woman on the planet. I've seen her naked - in real life, she sat on my lap. I've met Ginger Lynn, Nina Hartley, Ashlyn Geere, Houston, Chasey Lane, Cassidy, Ron Jeremy, AND JENNA JAMESON - she let me massage her bare feet. Haven't washed my hands since. Markie Post, Alyssa Milano, Kirstie Alley, Patricia Heaton, Jami Gertz, Cindy Crawford, and Christie Swanson never did porn but I wish they would! I am married and would never cheat on my wife, unless it was with one of the chicks mentioned above. I forgot to mention Kyrsti Lynn, she was one of the best ever! My chances of nailing her are the best, she died in 1995. (RIP)
I've had a beer with God/John Force. Michael Andretti is the king of "open wheel." And someday, hopefully, Greg Biffle will win the Nextel Cup. I love cars and all things with engines. I own a 98 Mustang (Cobra). I believe in driving American cars, not cars with American-flag stickers. The price of gas sucks but walking gargles. I use premium with every fill-up. Janet Jackson is a dumb bitch. She's made my life hell (on the radio). If I have to worry about getting fined everyday, shouldn't we have gotten to see BOTH breasts? I also own a few of her CD's, possessions are combined when you marry... I hate beer in the can because it hurts and a few of my favs are; Michelob, Grolsh, Anchor Steam, and Molson Canadian. If you ever go to Canada, get some Molson Dry - you can't get it here, it's the best ever! I've paid as much as 20 bucks for 12pk!
I've been arrested, I like lighting illegal fireworks, I like hard work, yard work, and have done work detail. What ever happened to Capt. Mitch, Reggie Theus, and Joe Cartione? Why can't we have concerts at Cal Expo anymore? The first and only time I saw Layne Staley with AIC was at Expo, they opened for Van Halen, the GREATEST band to ever use oxygen. That is not an opinion - IT'S A FACT and is not open for discussion - EVER! Eddie signed my guitar. Sometimes I sleep with it - naked! Bill Clinton has good hair. Not as good as Marc Furman's or Scott Baio's, but it's damned good. I have a fascination with male hair, don't have much of my own. I like wine on occassion, screw cap or box, doesn't matter. I've never owned an El Camino, parachute pants, or high top Reeboks. I do however own a bunch of Whitesnake CD's, I saw em at Arco when they opened for Scorps and the SUCKED! GreatWhiteLionSnake is a much better band.
I have an autographed Tesla CD, got David Draiman laid, and played foosball with Tommy Lee. Nobody can beat me at foosball, NOBODY! I'm a master chef, a professional boot-knocker, and a journeyman plumber/carpenter. Ask my wife. Nobody from Redding to Tijuana can grill a better tri tip than I, NOBODY! I used to play drums and thumb wrestle for rent money. I can throw a Frisbee from here to Tijuana, hit a bulls-eye, and make a 9-ball at the same distance! I couldn't hit a golf ball with a snow shovel - golf's GAY! Unless you're drunk and it's miniature... I can also throw a small ball from here to Tijuana too, I love small ball. Ricky Henderson is the greatest! I was at the Coliseum when he broke the stolen base record. I saw Nolan pitch a no-hitter there too! I also saw a lot of the big A's rehab in Modesto, before they moved to Colorado!
DeNiro, Liotta, Cage, and Billy Bob are my boys! Harvey Kytell and Michael Madsen are evil too. I like mob movies or comedies. If Heat were a documentary, Pacino would have died at the end, NOT DeNiro! I cried when Sissy got beat up by Wes Hightower in Urban Cowboy. Yeah, I know Cage was in Fast Times, and is anything cooler than seeing a guy getting stabbed in the throat with a pen? Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Vince Vaughn can do no wrong - except Dodgeball, way to corny, even for me. Is Molly Ringwald still hot? And no one that walks upright and shares oxygen with Van Halen is funnier than Letterman. I have a Hot Wheel collection. I go to car shows. I would steal a Ford GT. I knew a gut that stole a Mustang GT. I had an 88' Hurricane and a 90' CBR. I loved the looks of those bikes. I want a 90' VFR 750. I would love a chopper with a built S&S and a 280 in back. But, unless it's in the trunk of the Ford GT it aint happenin anytime soon. Reno's a toilet. Tahoe is tolerable, especially with Tahoe Wabo, and Vegas is money baby. I hate gambling.
What else do you want? I like Dr. Pepper and Coke. I'm circumcised, like my son. He'll be 5 in September. It's true, kids really are miracles. I don't think you can truly understand love or life until you give life to someone else. It's amazing. And one more thing, if you can't pronounce the state in which you live, you shouldn't be allowed to govern it! And yes, I'm ho tested and playa approved.
Tugs and Pisses,
TDFB
This is a picture of my boss.
(The guy that wears velcro shoes)
To make a donation to the "Bossy Needs a New Pair of Shoes" Foundation, simply send check or money order or shoes to: 5345 Madison Avenue, Sacramento, CA 95841
(I'm not sure what size he wears but I'm sure their small!)
